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Post by Ola Schubert on Dec 7, 2008 17:37:56 GMT -5
Hi you all! The past weeks I have been working really hard with finishing the first scene, and I am almost there, there is some details with graphics and some effects animations. But I will start working on the following shots instead. I have put up the new scene here: www.goober.nu/journey/forum/Proboard/video/video6.htmlDo enjoy! Best regards! Ola Schubert
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darren
Full Member
Amateur Music Composer
Posts: 61
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Post by darren on Dec 7, 2008 21:56:45 GMT -5
Hey Ola. I've just watched your revised version of the first scene. Strange! I usually have more positive feedback than critique, but this time, I hope to give some constructive comments - be they helpful or not (after all, you're the director ). Positives: - I think the lighting is a lot better. I am able to see the blood and the pixie's body. - I think the camera zooming out instead of zooming into a forest is a great effect! I thought it was going to zoom in. =D - Fantastic overview of the forest. Minor details noted: - I felt the first few frames went by too fast at the beginning for new watchers to truly take in the scenery and your artistic style; I'm referring to the frames after "Ola Schubert presents" where the camera zooms quickly out of the hole in the tree. - Somehow, the raven's takeoff still does not appear natural and a bit slow and sluggish when taking off. - I think the car drastically ruined the mood accompanied by the music, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but your drawing style as well! It seemed too cartoonish and very bizarre turn around the curved road. There also appeared to be no textures on the car.
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Post by Esn on Dec 8, 2008 2:48:27 GMT -5
I think it is very nice. You solved the problems that I pointed out last time, though not in the ways that I suggested. Making the pixie & crow bigger compared to the tree makes it more clear what is going on. The one thing that bugged me was that "whosh" sound as it zoomed out of the tree; it was too exaggerated (too loud). And I think the bad spelling/grammar in the beginning should be fixed, as it looks unprofessional. Here's a correction: According to Scandinavian folklore, we share this part of the world with many other beings, such as the Tomtar, the Troll, the Maror and the Huldror. Even today, many people are convinced of their existence.I quite liked the zoom-out and the car and didn't have any negative feelings there, unlike darren. Yes, the crow taking off is slow, but honestly I don't mind. It's like a dramatic effect. Now for a few minor quibbles: I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the increased colour saturation. It does make some things easier to see, but... the tree in the earlier video was a lot more interesting to look at - a lot of the detail in the bark is lost now. Though I'm not sure if that's due to the colours; the tree just looks more blurry. Possibly you used a more compressed version of the tree image? And it makes the colours a bit more unnatural for the background fog. I noticed that you no longer have moving layers in the background in the initial zoom-out from the tree & moving up, as you did before. The pace of the camera moving up the tree is sped up considerably. The downside of this is that it leaves less time for contemplation and for looking at the beauty of the landscape. So we end up focusing more on what's going on rather than on the mood. Maybe that's not a downside, but it's a marked change. Anyway, besides the first two things I mentioned, those are all very minor quibbles. Good job, and good luck on what follows! If I remember my storyboards correctly, the next scene has voices in it, right? EDIT: Actually, rewatching it, the yellow fog does look rather unnatural - a bit like toxic dust... I really think I like the colour of the fog should be toned down and be closer to that of the previous video, which looked more natural.
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Post by Ola Schubert on Dec 8, 2008 18:09:41 GMT -5
Hey Ola. I've just watched your revised version of the first scene. Strange! I usually have more positive feedback than critique, but this time, I hope to give some constructive comments - be they helpful or not (after all, you're the director ). Good for you ;D Positives: - I think the lighting is a lot better. I am able to see the blood and the pixie's body. - I think the camera zooming out instead of zooming into a forest is a great effect! I thought it was going to zoom in. =D - Fantastic overview of the forest. Thanks. I am not done with this scene yet, but for now it has to rest. - I felt the first few frames went by too fast at the beginning for new watchers to truly take in the scenery and your artistic style; I'm referring to the frames after "Ola Schubert presents" where the camera zooms quickly out of the hole in the tree. - Somehow, the raven's takeoff still does not appear natural and a bit slow and sluggish when taking off. - I think the car drastically ruined the mood accompanied by the music, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but your drawing style as well! It seemed too cartoonish and very bizarre turn around the curved road. There also appeared to be no textures on the car. I agree upon the first frames, I think I will slow them down. I just got this idea in my head. I have had some advice about the raven that I will use. But please remember that I am not trying to make the raven as natural as posible, this is to achieve a more dramatic mood. That is why it will take off more like a eagle rather than a raven. I think it will sort out in the end. Regarding the car I think we are on different levels. I do not think the car ruins the artwork, I believe it fits well into the scene. Maybe I will change my mind once I have rested my eyes from this scene. I do understand that it feels like the magic is broken by the car being present. It might feel a bit odd as the scene ends abruptly, but I can assure you that the following clips will fit into the story very well. Thanks again Darren! It is often better to hear good critizism as long as I can bear it. But I am toughened by the presence of Esn ;D
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Post by Ola Schubert on Dec 8, 2008 18:28:21 GMT -5
I think it is very nice. You solved the problems that I pointed out last time, though not in the ways that I suggested. Making the pixie & crow bigger compared to the tree makes it more clear what is going on. hi Esn! Yes, I did solve some things. I will work on that specific camera motion. I just had a lot of problems getting it to work. It is good enough, but not ultimate The one thing that bugged me was that "whosh" sound as it zoomed out of the tree; it was too exaggerated (too loud). It bugges me too, I am not sure why I did not remove it... but there it is. Feel confident that it will be gone in the next update ;D And I think the bad spelling/grammar in the beginning should be fixed, as it looks unprofessional. Here's a correction: According to Scandinavian folklore, we share this part of the world with many other beings, such as the Tomtar, the Troll, the Maror and the Huldror. Even today, many people are convinced of their existence.Thanks a lot Esn, it was way to late for me at the time. I have made use of your correction and it is now up and running. Yes, the crow taking off is slow, but honestly I don't mind. It's like a dramatic effect. Yes, that is the idea. Otherwise the raven would be gone an a milisecond, and I don´t want that. But I got a video posted to me that shows the issue and what can be done do make the take off more powerful. uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi1OG5z4cnMNow for a few minor quibbles: I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the increased colour saturation. It does make some things easier to see, but... the tree in the earlier video was a lot more interesting to look at - a lot of the detail in the bark is lost now. Though I'm not sure if that's due to the colours; the tree just looks more blurry. Possibly you used a more compressed version of the tree image? And it makes the colours a bit more unnatural for the background fog. I understand, but I like the more saturated look, I have always been a real fan of sunshine rain. And that is what it is. Regarding the tree I agree, I have to check if I by accident used a low res tree. I noticed that you no longer have moving layers in the background in the initial zoom-out from the tree & moving up, as you did before. That is one thing that I can´t do much about. They do move, but the distance from the tree is so vast, and the tree itself is so small, as you can see when the camera pulls away, so you just does not notice it. Which probably is very natural But you can easily see it when the camera pulls away from the tree and down to the road. If I remember my storyboards correctly, the next scene has voices in it, right? Noop, I changed the storyboard ;D EDIT: Actually, rewatching it, the yellow fog does look rather unnatural - a bit like toxic dust... I really think I like the colour of the fog should be toned down and be closer to that of the previous video, which looked more natural. Have you ever noticed the light of sunshine rain? It often looks very toxic Right now I am happy with the look, I have to stop somewhere(: Or I will never be finished. But it is great to get this feedback! Thanks Esn for your comments and suggestions!
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Post by Esn on Dec 8, 2008 20:39:35 GMT -5
I'm happy with the look too now. I don't know if you changed anything slightly or if I just got used to it. Just out of curiosity, how much of what was in those two storyboard chapters that you made public still remains?
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Post by Ola Schubert on Dec 10, 2008 5:53:02 GMT -5
I'm happy with the look too now. I don't know if you changed anything slightly or if I just got used to it. Just out of curiosity, how much of what was in those two storyboard chapters that you made public still remains? I think most of it remains, but not really told in the same way. I have changed the behaviour of Annas parents, and also changed their roles a bit. There will not be any dialouge in the beginning, I will set the mood with animation and a wonderful soundscape(: I did not change a thing(:
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